Hi, Ande–

November 16, 2007 at 3:57 pm (Uncategorized)

and everyone else who sees me regularly but doesn’t tell me they have read Bossypants.

Anyone else feel like the huge holiday rush has already begun? I don’t even know when the first night of Hanukkah is.

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and the good news is….

November 13, 2007 at 12:15 am (Uncategorized)

I went to see the nurse practitioner today. The good news is that I “just have a sinus infection.” That doesn’t actually make me feel any less like crap, but it does mean that no one else is going to catch it from me.

I got a nice happy decadron shot in the hiney and a pricey antibiotic to go with it. I don’t do antibiotics much in the last 10 years or so since the military’s socialized healthcare insisted on antibiotics for everything when I was a kid and I am immune to most of them.

And my friend Foxy left some little sacks of groceries–soup, juice, cereal, bread, some sliced ham–on my doorstep today. So the kids had soup and sandwiches for supper. I am still rejecting most food. Except the Whole Foods Crack Organic Oatmeal. I’m almost out and in need of a fix.

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Oh yeah, and crack oatmeal, too

November 11, 2007 at 10:10 pm (Uncategorized)

I swear Whole Foods Market puts crack in their 365 Organic instant oatmeal. I am seriously addicted. Which came in really handy during the whole vomiting/diarrhea phase of my bubonic plague.

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Bubonic Plague Hits Helena

November 11, 2007 at 10:06 pm (Uncategorized)

No, really….I swear it’s true. I am its victim.

My whole weekend got scrapped. When my hubby returned from Nashville with his brand spankin new (to us) car, he then drove the kids to Montgomery to drop them off. Now he’s gone to pick them up. I’ve slept a lot. I’ve watched a lot of NatGeo, too, like the “King Bear” episode of Carnivore Planet that was just plain depressing.

No one else in the house is sick. I am only able to type because I have given myself caffeine in the form of an icy cold, bubbly Coca-Cola Classic that I drove in my medicated state to the store to buy. Along with Mucinex.

Hopefully I’ll feel up to taking the kids’ picture tomorrow. I was hoping we’d go to our church and get a good photo of the kids for Christmas cards. We’ll see.

Now I’m off to fight the plague. Sheets are washing in hot water, toothbrush has been sanitized, I’ve showered with lye soap and bleach (ha, just kidding). Gonna eat my Amy’s Mushroom and Olive pizza if I can indeed eat. I feel hungry for the first time in two days. Tomorrow it’s the doctor for me.

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Auto Trader

November 8, 2007 at 2:19 pm (Uncategorized)

We will finally have a second car this weekend! It requires a short road trip but man, will it be worth it. A couple of hours on the road is a small price to pay to have my husband stop obsessing over buying a damn car. Engineer types should never be allowed to shop, ever.

I’m also counting down to some much needed family rest and relaxation.

I’ve actually been getting my huge ass out of bed and staying out of bed in the mornings, which is made slightly easier by early-morning sunshine. You may have heard me mention that I cannot function without sunshine. I’ve been trying to walk a little each day, which is complicated by joint pain thanks to the colder weather. But it’s making a little difference. My weight and my laziness have really gotten out of control and I’m finally concerned enough to start working it backwards a little. Even if it means getting attacked by geese.

I hate geese. If we stop feeding them, maybe they’ll go live somewhere else.


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Ungrateful Little Monsters

November 1, 2007 at 8:17 pm (Uncategorized)

I hate Halloween. We didn’t do trick-or-treating as a family this year. I had tickets for all of us to Disney On Ice’s Finding Nemo. Fun way to spend Halloween, right? Apparently not.

My son begged and begged to stay behind and trick-or-treat with a friend on our street. So I gave in and took my other two to the show. They seemed to love every minute of it until we got back in the car to go home. Then they wailed “we didn’t get to go trick-or-treating!” for the thirty minute ride home. I cried in the front seat because I felt like a failure as a mom. A hundred bucks down the drain.

We get home and my son is with my husband, who just got back in from Austin. Guess what the son says to me….”Mom, I really missed you. I wish I’d gone to Disney on Ice because xxxx was mean to me the whole time.”

Lessons learned:

1. No matter a parent’s intentions or money spent, kids will be ungrateful because that is their job. They don’t know any better when they’re 4 and 5 and 7. They don’t understand sacrifice, and that’s a good thing.

2. You can’t please three very different children with one activity. Better to just let them whine around the neighborhood and get candy that you can threaten to throw in the garbage when they misbehave.

3. Disney on Ice is actually a lot of fun to watch.

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