My Big Baby

August 31, 2007 at 2:04 pm (Uncategorized)

My sweet firstborn is seven today. For all the hell he gives me with his laziness and argumentativeness (wonder where he gets it?), he is my darling, and I cherish the opportunity to parent him and watch him grow.

He looked like this at first:

Now he’s all

Now my “baby” is four. Next year, all will be in school. It’s exciting, and they love growing up, learning new things, taking on new responsibilities and privileges. But as someone who’s been home full time with her children for nearly seven years (for about 12 months interspersed I worked when my oldest was a baby) it is hard to see my role changing. Before it was care and feeding and playing; now it’s disciplining, organizing, and feeding, and feeding and feeding. I’m not sure how well I’ve prepared myself for the changes.

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My Dog’s No Daisy Scout!

August 27, 2007 at 6:30 pm (Uncategorized)

First, my poor crippled dog has broked her left outer toe (back leg). She did it chasing a cat. I guess no one told her she’s not supposed to chase cats down the street any more. Of course, if people would control their cats half as well as I control my dog, she wouldn’t chase them down the street. The cats would be safely in their homes where they belong.

I *hate* roaming cats. Why get a pet just to let it run loose outside? Are cats less dangerous than doegs? My Siamese cat bit me on the cheek when I was 4. Has no one ever gotten bitten by a cat?

And I’m a Girl Scout leader now. My middle sweetiepie is in a Daisy Troop and I told her I’d volunteer to be the leader. So now I am. I don’t really know what I’m doing. I thought it would be similar to Cub Scouts, but no–it’s absolutely, completely different. New stuff to learn, new people to meet. This week I have 7 evening obligations AND a sleepover party for my son. With my husband’s new job keeping him away more, maybe I should invest in a good, mature babysitter who will actually make sure homework’s done and put kids to bed.

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Dog Pee In My Carpet Makes Me Cry

August 24, 2007 at 2:52 pm (Uncategorized)

Just 24 hours before my daughter’s birthday party–at our house, no less, which I am always stressing over keeping neat and clean and which is never neat and clean–Audrey the Weimaraner decided to piss a huge pool in the middle of the living room carpet.

She also dragged some trash out of the trash can.

We usually put her in our bedroom when we leave, but my husband could not lure her to the bedroom, not even with a treat! So he called, and the girlie and I were on our way home so I said, “she should be fine; we’ll be home in ten minutes.”

Famous. Last. Words.

Off to find enzyme pet cleaner. I have never dropped so many f-bombs on my dog. She probably thinks I hate her. I don’t, but I really wish she had just peed outside this morning like usual.

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Queen of the Mountain

August 20, 2007 at 1:22 am (Uncategorized)

First let me say I am quite proud to be standing on top of the laundry mountain rather than buried beneath it. I don’t know how long this phase is giong to last, so I’m enjoying it while I can.

Now on to my bitch and moan. I do so love to bitch and moan, especially when it’s justified.

People who are probably well-intentioned comment on my children all the time. I can’t blame them, honestly. My kids are bright, attractive, polite, and very, very funny. But the comments about their clothes really rankle me.

“Oh, did you know your shoes are on the wrong feet, honey?” is so often heard by my gonna-be-four-year-old. Does it really matter to you if her left shoe is on her right foot? Or if she is wearing purple pants and a green shirt? My kids are independent and dress themselves. How do their shoe placement or wardrobe selections affect you?

I hate being asked if I’ve been “born again.” I have a deep, complicated relationship with God, whom I alternately love and hate. The pastor at the church we’ve been attending–which is of a liberal Christian denomination–quotes Tolkien often, saying that “all who wander are not lost.” If I’m not in the same place someone else is in her spiritual life, should I apologize, or work harder? That’s not the solution. No solution exists, because a solution would first require a problem. And I don’t have a problem.

But apparently other people do.

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A tale of two birthday parties

August 16, 2007 at 1:15 pm (Uncategorized)

First, the kid parties.

I am indeed a crazy person. In the next 15 days we are hosting two birthday parties at our house, which is not a house made for parties. So many walls, awkwardly shaped rooms, etc. But I figure we can host 8 four year olds (that includes our three kids)for a couple of hours. And then six days later, my son is having a…..sleepover party. Invited four boys.

What do seven year old boys do at sleepovers? Play the Wii. Eat. Eat. Eat….

We are going to have them make their own sundaes instead of having cake. I think they’ll like doing gross stuff with ice cream.

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School Blitz

August 14, 2007 at 12:55 pm (Uncategorized)

School has officially taken over our lives.

If you know me, you know how much I really hate state-sponsored/mandated education. Maybe because I am a loving, caring, involved parent who would be sure my kids got educated somehow, even if it weren’t required by law.

Sometimes I think I need to buy myself a ranch out in Montana and live behind electric fences to keep The Man out of my bidness!

Part of the problem is that my darling hubster and I have three children. We would have gladly have had more had my uterus not decided to scar up. But my three children love to do things.

My son has Cub Scouts and is starting piano next Monday; these are mandatory in my book. Team sports in Helena are too intense for us, and Y sports are too disorganized (I say this as a former soccer coach there).

My kindergarten girl has signed up for baton lessons at school after deciding to throw two years of ballet instruction out the window (I juest–she’s five after all, it’s not like she was headed to prima ballerina at this age), and she wants to be a Daisy Girl Scout.

We have limited the four year old to one activity, which is dance. We changed our dance school, too, since I was really tired of driving from Helena to Vestavia every week. The new place is less of a traditional ballet school but will be more fun for her, I think, and it’s just a few minutes down the road. Several friends have daughters who attend so I feel comfortable with it.

One or two activities per kid is totally reasonable. But multiply that by three. Holy crap. Not to mention the homework my second grader is bringing home. Last night we had our first homework meltdown–and it was only 20 minutes of independent reading plus a short fluency exercise! That’s maybe 25 minutes of work, but he was nearly impossible and ended up going to bed without even being tucked in because he wouldn’t cooperate.

Do you see why I hate school?

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Thank Heavens for Upstanding Boys Like These…

August 10, 2007 at 4:14 pm (Uncategorized)

Teenage Boys Helpfully Point Out  Fat Girls Shortcomings

The Onion

Teenage Boys Helpfully Point Out Fat Girl’s Shortcomings

WATERBURY, CT-Shortly before homeroom, Staunton Junior High students freely offered an in-depth critique of Shelley Griese’s many flaws.

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Britney Spears’ Anus

August 2, 2007 at 5:24 pm (Uncategorized)

OMG, please don’t make us see Britney’s anus!

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