Rejected by the field trip committee

March 31, 2008 at 4:03 pm (Uncategorized)

Once again, a Monday where all the kids and the mom oversleep! And not even a spot of sunshine to be found, which means I may have to overdose myself with Zoloft and caffeine to keep moving.

Not only that, but as my second grader was getting dressed, I remembered he had a field trip today, and that I had wanted to chaperone but was passed over for the honor in favor of another parent (hopefully someone more responsible than myself because honestly, I’m not much to talk about lately). The field trip requires the pumpkin-colored field trip shirt, which thank God was clean. We got to school right before the first bell rang and so I couldn’t drop them off in carpool but had to park the car, walk across the road, and take the kids to the door. My four year old insisted on coming along, even though her daddy wanted her to stay home with him since he had to leave for the week.

If you want to slow a four year old down, tell her to hurry her butt up. That guarantees an almost instant stop to whatever’s going on.


Yesterday I joined a new church. It wasn’t the church I was expecting. I’ve been visiting this place on and off for years, my kids have gone to preschool there for five consecutive years, I even work there on occasion. I’ve taught Vacation bible School there and know half the people in the congregation through Cub Scouts, Girl Scouts, preschool, or elementary school. But for a long time it wasn’t the place for us. I’d been visiting a totally different church for a long time and really felt home there…but my Sunday morning group started to change and there was a lot of pressure on my kids to participate in activities (because we don’t already have enough going on apparently, with piano, baton, Cub Scouts, Girl Scouts, and tball). My across-the-street neighbors and beer brewers that I adore had been telling me about their Sunday morning group for a while and a few weeks ago I visited. It was fabulous. A place where I feel I could really come clean about my struggles with faith in safety. So that sealed it. I know they’re getting new pastors in the summer. I’m okay with the people there now, but I know lots of others haven’t been. As the grown child of a minister, I can tell you that no one is ever happy with whoever’s there.

Anyway, the whole thing with joining the church yesterday had me a bit flustered and embarrassed, but I guess it’s mandatory to be brought up in front of everyone. I felt very welcomed and my kids were red-faced. The fact that there was fried chicken and cupcakes afterwards made it all better for them.


I’m really ready for a vacation or something. Our tenth wedding anniversary is April 25, and I’d hoped we’d be able to take a short trip together. But my hubby is working his ass off right now trying to stay on top of things, and though we’re technically making more money in this new job it doesn’t work out that way. The way the money comes in is different, and we’re still paying piano, baton, preschool tuition, and then the new mortgage payment is due at a different time than the previous one. So I don’t think we’ll be driving off to the beach for a romantic weekend alone anytime soon. Sad, because we could really use the time together without distractions of home. Maybe this summer, when the sales year ends and before we send our “baby” off to elementary school with her big sister and our son off to the intermediate school.

Life is going to change drastically next year and I kind of regret putting my own intellectual life on the back burner. I am left with an English degree and wimpy brain cells right now. I stand by the choices I made, but I do wish I’d taken myself more seriously in the past. Now I want to make a difference in the world in a different way and have no idea how to do it. If I could find a job alphabetizing, I think I’d be in heaven.

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Tips for Men

March 31, 2008 at 3:58 am (Uncategorized)

Here are a few tips for men. This comes about because right now I am being ignored by a husband who is engrossed in Super Smash Brothers. At the same time, he feels neglected by me because I am not sitting in watching every move he makes on Super Smash Brothers.

1. When you wife or lady friend says, “Can I get you a drink?” the anser is not, “I don’t care.” Yes or no will do.

2. When your wife or lady friend asks what specific beverage you want in your glass, “I don’t care” is also not acceptable. Surely you know if you want water or milk or tea or blood or urine.

3. In fact, “I don’t care” is not ever an acceptable answer for anything. If your wife said, “may I go down on you? you would not dream of saying, “I don’t care.” Keep that in mind and pay attention!

4. Text messages work best when reaching your wife at an important function, like down the street drinking happy amounts of wine with her book babe friends. No need to actually make the phone ring.

5. The night before you leave for a weeklong trip is not the time to let me know you’re out of socks. I really don’t mind doing your laundry, but you have to actually dig the dirty socks out from under the bed if you want them washed.

Ladies and gentlemen, this advice comes from a woman who tolerates and indeed appreciates some sassiness from her man. He’s a fine husband and father and human being. But if you’ve been with a woman for 14 years, shouldn’t you know not to screw with her during PMS week?

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The joys of Sleeplessness

March 28, 2008 at 8:27 am (Uncategorized)

ACtually, I was asleep earlier. The dog woke me up because she felt she needed to go prowl around outside and get into a barfight with a a raccoon or something. I already was not feeling so well stomach-wise so I decided to have a starchy little snack to try and help. Didn’t work.

Part of the problem may be that I spent too much time in meetings today. I do not have a paying job. Frankly, my mornings right now consist mostly of me avoiding housework by running errands while the youngest is at preschool, or volunteering at the schools for something or other. Thursday morning involved a Teacher Appreciation Luncheon committee meeting that lasted an hour. Apparently I missed the first meeting which means any ideas I might have had mean nothing. It’s our last year there after five consecutive years and I wanted to help out with this annual event…and now I need to either figure out how many breakfast casseroles we need to feed 40 or so people, or how I can get local businesses to give us a huge price break on already-made ones.

The other meeting I had Thursday involved Girl Scouts. This is hit or miss. We were unfortunately missing the two woman who normally keep our smartassness in check. Well okay, the smartassness comes out anyway, but it was a little looser than normal, which I did not need. I’d left my poor hubby at Pizza Pro with the three chilluns and a bunch of school buddies (it was a friend’s birthday) and I knew there was chaos at home because he was texting me during the meeting stating this.

In between I hung out at Big Mountain for a while with a friend and then tried to stuff all my recycling crap into the bin. I’m sorry, I just cannot keep accumulating recyclables in my garage. We try consuming less and figuring out if it’s more ecologically sensible to use cans of soda or plastic bottles, but really…it’s all too much sometimes. Though I understand the impact of everything we do, I sort of long for the days when we just tossed everything into the trash bin and didn’t feel bad about it.

I’d like to know how many Helena folks drive out to the bins with their cars full only to find the recycling bin stuffed and overflowing.

I saw my first “Sonny Penhale for Mayor” sign in the window of the old City Hall yesterday. And I find all this “You Won’t Believe It!” nonsense in Old Town Helena just annoying. What won’t I believe, and why? Do you think I’m stupid? I’m not one of those who’s tricked easily by marketing ploys. I’m sure it’s something neat, but really…you’ve been teasing us too long.

A friend told me Thursday that the HIS trip to Washington, D.C. is $750 per person. This means you need $1500 plus souveniry money if you want to actually accompany your child on this trip. These are fifth graders, I think…maybe fourth. Insane. I went in ninth grade, but we lived in Ohio and it was an easy trip. I could take my family of five to D.C. for that much. It’s nice to give kids the opportunity but really…$750 per kid is kind of crazy for an elementary-age school trip. I can already tell my oldest he won’t go because then we’d have to pay for both his sisters to go the years after that. Not happening.

Did anyone watch NCAA basketball Thursday night on CBS? The Louisville-Tennessee game was awesome. I love watching fast, physical basketball. Western Kentucky almost came back to beat UCLA but it didn’t happen. I just drove through the WKU campus last week and was rooting for them. Mostly because I think “bruins” is a stupid mascot but WKU is the “Hilltoppers” so that’s not much better.

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Who travels north for spring break?

March 24, 2008 at 1:07 pm (Uncategorized)

We do! Not only did we get to Northern Kentucky and Southeast Indiana in time for flooding, but it snowed on top of the floods. Of course, the ground was too wet for the snow to stick. After being lost in Louisville in torrential rains Tuesday night, the kids and I arrived in Lawrenceburg, Indiana and got to our hotel.

No, this is not a lake. It’s a field. There are power lines and such down there. I think the ground was still frozen from the blizzard the previous week.

Not one good night of sleep the whole time, but visiting my family was totally worth it.

The kids got to play with my cousin’s son, who is six months younger than my about-to-be-six year old and six months older than my “baby.” He and my son became best buds and all I have heard is “when are we going back? can he come stay with us this summer?”

We visited with my grandmother. She’s mentally ill and in a nursing home, and has congestive heart failure. The docs cut out lots of her old meds and put her on a new one for the mental issues and she is like a new woman. I’d been worried in the past about visiting her with the kids and used that as an excuse. But she is clear-headed, friendly, and more upbeat (still not Pollyanna, but hey, that just wouldn’t be her).

Friday afternoon we headed to Cincinnati to see my high school friend Heather, who lives there with her three kids. Midwestern malls are so different from Southern malls, but we had fun. The kids saw the Easter bunny. People stared at us. You know, typical stuff.

The trip was topped off with a visit to my great-great aunt in Brentwood, Tennessee. She is my great-granddad’s baby sister, and she’s 84 or 85. Her husband died two years ago. Her son and daughter-in-law are in Washington, D.C., and she is estranged from her daughter. Her former son-in-law, his wife, and my aunt’s grandchildren and great-grandchild are all close by. But she still loves company. We had a great time there, and the kids are excited about the garden coming in this spring and summer.

So yeah, we drove against the traffic into floods and snow, into much colder temperatures. But it was a great experience. Will I do it again with all three kids and no husband along for moral support? Probably. Now I know to add an extra four hours a day instead of just one to the travel time!

Easter was nice. We have decided to join a different church than what I expected, but I think it’s the right move for us. We were there for 8:30 services and Sunday school, and i got a great photo or two of the kids outside.

I must say, it’s nice to be back in the Loudest House on the Block after a few days away. I missed my messy kitchen, my annoying elderly dog, the bang of the piano keys. I even missed my husband! Now it’s on to cleaning the house, laundry, checking the kids’ lunch accounts, recovering the bank account, and getting my cracked tooth fixed (one of my “beaver” teeth cracked on the trip, I don’t know how).

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Vacation all I ever wanted

March 17, 2008 at 12:04 am (Uncategorized)

Actually our Spring Break road trip is a visit to southeastern Indiana, where much of my dad’s people still live. The kids have not met lots of them, including my grandmother. She’s old and mentally ill, so it should be a great trip for everyone. I’m not being sarcastic, either. My gran is the brightest person I’ve ever known, and she’s the one we get our sarcasm and sassiness from. Maybe meeting her will help my kids make some connections. I’m excited for the whole thing. Okay, not the weather–it’s supposed to be gloomy and in the 50s the whole week. We’ll top it off with a visit to my great-great aunt in Nashville and then head home to get ready to go back to school.

My husband and our vicious attack dog will be guarding our mansion full of great stuff to steal. Just giving you a heads up.

I saw Blog Leigh at Publix today. I survived last week’s McTeacher Night at the Evil M and a sleepover where the boys tried to sleep in the basement but were too scared and moved upstairs after midnight. We visited a different church today, one we’d been to in the past and weren’t nuts about but that was a great experience today.

Oh, and the husband, three kids and I hiked to Peavine Falls and back again. Had I not heard the Voice of Beth at the top of the rocks, encouraging me, I’d probably still be there now. My wrists hurt from clinging to rocks. But we all made it–a nearly-35-year-old with missing meniscus and a titanium plate in his collarbone; a 32 year old woman with more than 100 extra pounds on her frame and bad feet; a moody seven year-old; a flighty almost-six-year-old; and a four-and-a-half year-old born without the fear that kids should have of things like slippery rocks, very high cliffs, and wild animals.

I can’t get Glen Hansard out of my head. My brother-in-law has the DVD of Once and it seems right up my alley.

Happy spring break, suckers. You enjoy your drunken-student-laden beaches and hotel pools. I’ll be in Indiana where it is not usually sunny, but it will be worth it for the funny-and-totally-true-stories I’ll have to tell you once I recover.

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Answers to all life’s big questions?

March 13, 2008 at 11:50 am (Uncategorized)

Springfield Farms says they love their chickens, so they don’t treat them with antibiotics or give them any chemical medicines. Well, if your chicken were sick, and you loved her, wouldn’t you try to make her all better? Better yet, if you loved said chicken, would you send her to slaughter so other people could eat her? And if a chicken needs to be treated with medicines or something, maybe you shouldn’t be selling it as dinner.

What’s with making terms more complicated than they are? Perhaps we’re all trying to seem all business-y even when we’re not. The month of May, the August timeframe, your highest price point…hearing stuff like that outside of a work setting drives me crazy. Ninety-nine dollars isn’t your highest price point, it’s your budget.

Why do buses need to pick children up at 6:37 in the morning when the first bell doesn’t ring until 7:55?

Sorry, I woke up earlier than usual this morning and have watched too much television. I’m becoming sick of myself lately and am generally pissed off now because I don’t want to go to my four year-old daughter’s Easter party today because I need to go to Whole Foods. And I’m also pissed because my iPod is all screwy and I just downloaded some great songs from eMusic and want to listen to them. And I want to keep moving on my 7 Habits listening before I lose momentum.

On a happy note, the weather has been fantastic for curly hair! Yay.

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Yes, I’m still using this blog, Anonymommy

March 10, 2008 at 2:31 pm (Uncategorized)

I won’t free up the blog name, but I’m flattered you asked :).

I have been too busy cheating death, planning Girl Scouts stuff, and playing with my two year old niece and holding my new baby nephew to blog.

Today I am headed to the recycling bins at the HSC to take pictures of all the trash. I still have a very strong Inner Tattle Tale, though that’s the trait about my own kids that drives me the craziest.

If you know of anything that needs done in Helena–that would be appropriate for a service project for six year olds–leave a comment.

Thanks for all who’ve asked after us. My dad is well, my new baby nephew is healthy, my brother and his family are all fabulous now that the birthing part is over, everyone in the house is free of nasty sick germs, and my blood pressure is finally down and I may be able to kick up the caffeine soon. Also, I took my own cup to Big Mo last week and now I get my dark roast for $1.50. A tip: if you take your own cup, make it a biiiig one because I think you pay the same price whatever the size!

Oh, I made my way into Michelle Ellis’s consignment store last week and got some cute plaid Stride Rite boots for my five year old. She loves them. That store had some Under Armour, but not in my son’s size. If you are looking for Under Armour in good shape that’s inexpensive, try Consignment Classics (I think that’s the name).

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I’m only mostly dead!

March 3, 2008 at 7:19 pm (Uncategorized)

I’ve been struggling with staying well for several weeks now, but it got ridiculous over the weekend. My killer sinus infection literally could have killed me since we discovered that I’m allergic to amoxicillin.

Apparently when I was having my asthma attack or whatever it was and thought I might be overreacting, I really should have been seeking emergency medical treatment.

But I didn’t die. I still feel like crap but no longer feel quite like an elephant is blowing smoke into my lungs. Gah, how horrible.

Now I get to suffer through this sinus and ear infection until it’s gone since I am sure as hell not putting another antibiotic into my body.

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