Wake Up and Count the Good Things

October 24, 2008 at 6:03 pm (whining) (, , , )

Wow. I really cannot describe the weird funk I am in. Part of the problem is that I haven’t been taking my medication like I should, so of course I’m not focusing. Part of the problem is that I am lazy. I also allow myself to feel defeated and deflated. I am happy with most of what I’ve done with my life, as far as staying home to be with my kids and even now, with them in school, being around to do stuff at school for their teachers and even have some social time to myself during the day (God knows I don’t get it at night–all mothers know that the job doesn’t end, even when dads seem to declare themselves off duty for the night). Okay, so most of my social time revolves around school stuff or scouts, too, but that’s okay. They’re people I like. I like spending my time with people who are dedicated to the same ideals I am.

But I have let myself get too fat. I can’t find outdoorsy clothing in my size in the stores. I have to order it. I can’t keep up like I want to. I have this private goal that involves leaving the continental united states and doing some exploring–and no, SSA, it has nothing to do with Sarah Palin! honestly–and I can’t do it at this weight. I don’t have the stamina to do the things I want to do.

I have been saying this for years and continue down the road to early morbidity.

This weekend I am taking my Girl Scouts camping. I will have to work hard to keep up. That’s fine. They will be understanding and cheer me on or something cute like that. But it shouldn’t be like that.

There are some things to be excited about, though.

  1. My husband has hinted that he’d like to take a few years off his current career and do something that I think is much more worthwhile, though the pay is a lot less. We’d have to save a lot, and that’s something we’ve gotten good at over the last few years.
  2. My younger daughter is riding to camp tomorrow with a friend of mine from high school. We rediscovered each other when our girls ended up in the same troop. Even though we went years without seeing each other, I love that our daughters play together. Someday maybe they’ll write melodramatic teenage poetry, too, like we did.
  3. One of the mothers coming on our camp out is also one of my closest friends, so I will get to spend more time with her.
  4. The Girl Scout troop seems to be falling into place, and if I could only get to where I was involved more in my troop than with the bigger picture, I’d be happier. Fortunately, all the people involved in the “bigger picture” where we do scouting are people worth spending time with.
  5. I’m also *this close* to having my substitute teaching license approved and going to orientation, so I will have a way to make a little money here and there when I want to work.
  6. My good friend Sarah is having a healthy baby girl soon, and we’ll hopefully get together before then.
  7. I have a short weekend with my mom coming up that I am so excited about. We don’t get time together any more, and I think I am going to surprise her with something luxurious. I know it won’t involve male strippers or fondue, but other than that, I have a lot to work with.

Okay, counting the good things helped me feel a little better. I am still buried beneath the laundry and need to clean my car out. The rain has let up so now might be a good time to abandon WordPress and Arcade Fire (have I ever told you how much I love my iPod?) and go do that.

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