Bridges Not Burned

May 15, 2008 at 3:52 am (Uncategorized)

Tonight my Girl Scouts crossed the bridge from Daisies to Brownies. It was a big deal and we made it so. A few girls were noticeably absent. I think the parent of one of the absent girls does not like me. When we see each other out, she seems to purposely avoid me. I’m not sure what I did, and this here is my last moment to dwell on it. The little girl is sweet as pie and I will miss her not being in our troop next year.

Speaking of, we mutually agreed (well, I actively recruited!) to spin off another troop from ours. Mostly because I know the meeting time is not going to work for us and a few others next year, and several others wanted to keep the same meeting time. The two women who are going to lead that troop are fantastic. One of them I’ve known since last school year because her hubby is my son’s den leader. The other I’ve gotten to know through Girl Scouts this year and she is creative and fun and way better organized than I am. I feel that bringing up the “spin off” to the parents really opened a door for us to bring more girls in next year to troops that have a little direction.

I’m starting to take it maybe too seriously. But I think that even if I didn’t have children in scouting, I would still find a way to be involved with Cub Scouts and Girl Scouts. I absolutely love it. When I think about what purpose my life has, scouting fits in somehow. I’m wondering how I can get a paying job doing it.

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The David Neal plot thickens

May 12, 2008 at 9:23 pm (Uncategorized)

Go to this page to read the lawsuit filed today by David Neal against Fox 6.

Something similar regarding medical issues happened to me when I worked for the state, but I ended up quitting. Having worked for a tort reform group before, I really didn’t want to enter the murky waters of being a plaintiff.

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Out on the Weekend

May 12, 2008 at 3:59 am (Uncategorized)

We were packed over the weekend. I know you’re absolutely dying to know what went on, so let me give you every single detail, including things you don’t want to know.

Friday night was the sleep study, the results of which are still unclear to me. AFter a nap, the husband took our son to see Iron Man (which they loved) while I took the girls down to Buck Creek Festival to play. We all got hot and sweaty. My youngest decided to get her face painted, then changed her mind and wanted her arm painted since her face would get too sweaty. She is like the sweatiest kid in the universe so I give her props for making a good decision. In line for the arm-painting, someone asked “Is your name Dusti?” And it was Shadowhelm! And his lovely wife and very cute and clever daughter–both of whom I’d met before! I was about ready to hug him for not calling me by my handle. People who knew me from NOTA back in the day in Montgomery will still call me Virty, which was my old handle.

I liked the way the festival was set up. Five dollar armbands for the inflatables was fantastic, but my kids mostly played on the playground equipment anyway. Everyone saw lots of friends and it was a nice social time. Eventually my husband and son showed up, and the hubby took over with the kids so I could go work at the rock climbing wall for the Civitan Club.

Taking money at the rock climbing wall was just one of our responsibilities there with Buck Creek Civitans. We also had people working the shuttle vans and concession stands. Watching the kids on the climbing wall was enlightening. I remember a time when I went rapelling as part of a hig ropes adventure course in high school. Terrified me! Now I’d love to do it.

Sunday the girls tried to make me breakfast. It involved applesauce, ham, and Wild Cherry Pepsi. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen Dexter’s Lab, but it was one of my favorite shows ever and had a Mother’s Day episode where the husband and kids try to do all the things for the mom and it drives her literally insane.

We went to Sunday School where I did a so-so job of leading the discussion on Pentacostalism. We didn’t attend services because I slept past the early one and really don’t like the later one. Instead we went home where there was discussion about where Mom wants to go to lunch. Zoe’s Kitchen is always my first choice when given one. Well, the hubby complained that the parking situation is really bad there. He made a few more suggestions and I said, “Well, no, I want to go to Zoe’s Kitchen.” I was badly craving the chicken and fruit salad plate.

I got my way. When we got home I left for the grocery store. Then when I had all my giant cart of stuff rung up, I realized my debit card was at home. I felt stupid. They assured me that it happens every day and they’d hold it in the cooler for me. A few minutes later I got back, paid for my stuff, loaded the car, got home, made a supper that Ben and I liked but the kids hated. They ended up pouring themselves cereal.

So there. Now no one has to ask me how my weekend was. At some point Saturday night I tried watching Transformers on Cinemax but kept falling asleep. When there’s too much action on the screen I seriously zone out. Too bad, because I’m sure I missed some good Shia LeBouef moments.

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It’s 11 pm, let’s rearrange the furniture

May 9, 2008 at 5:12 pm (Uncategorized)

Have you noticed that the things you were attracted to in your spouse are the things that eventually drive you crazy?

He liked my creativity and laid-back attitude. I liked the fact that he was really smart and would make lots of money (ha ha, just kidding–at the time we were sure he’d be a math prof like his dad and that means no money). He was driven and focused. Am I driven and focused? Not really. I can be on occasion, but it’s not part of my makeup. Him? He’s all about focus and drive.

my creativity and laid-back attitude have evolved into a sort of overzealous laxity. I make sure we are fed, bathed, have a reasonable amount of clean clothes, and everyone has books to read and paper to write on and draw on. I expend a lot of energy planning things, taking care of appointments, tying up loose ends. I am at a good level of social and community success–meaning I have enough friends to be beneficial and enough community involvement to feel I’m making an impact.

My husband is at the opposite spectrum. His work requires him to be focused and driven, so it’s a good match for him. He’s uncomfortable in lots of social situations, like when my girlfriends come over and we point and laugh at him (just kidding–we don’t point and laugh, we just become terribly obnoxious). In college, of course, we hung out with his math department friends. One of my worst memories is seeing Highlander 3 with math guys. That movie stunk to high heaven.

I hung out with his friends. Fortunately they were all really nice guys and I got along great with them, even hanging out when he was not around. But he was not into my friends. Newspaper people he didn’t get along with, English dept people he didn’t get along with, SGA people he didn’t get along with…

As a result we don’t have any couple friends. It’s sad. My parents always had couple friends. I mean, we do have some, but not people that we say, “hey bring everyone over Saturday night and we’ll cook out.”

He has some close friends but their wives in general aren’t crazy over me. I can’t figure out why. Remember when we went to Hawaii in 2005 and I was so excited about meeting his best friend’s wife (they live in NJ)? And she hated me. To this day we can’t figure it out. I was planning on us becoming buddies and taking vacations together and stuff. Naive, I know. It certainly wasn’t that I’m better looking or smarter or wealthier or anything like that.

So I need to scout out another couple to become friends with. Where the wife is a good match for me humor-wise and the husband can sit around and talk cycling and technology and Formula One racing with my husband–and of course defer to my husband and let him sound smarter because that’s what he likes.

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Off my game

May 8, 2008 at 12:53 pm (Uncategorized)

Yesterday threw me for a loop. I had some plans, and those plans did not include caring for a four year old with a very bad case of diarrhea. But that’s what I did. Wipe, clean up, wipe, laundry, take out trash. Repeat.

I noticed my energy level down for the day. I did some reading I’d been wanting to do but otherwise, I was kind of sluggish. Even with a dose of caffeine and my meds.

Despite how laid back I seem, I really am a person who thrives on a schedule. I wonder sometimes if I have become inflexible, behaving badly when my schedule gets upset by something unexpected.

Today, my “baby” is having her preschool music program. It’s the last one I’ll ever attend and frankly it’s got me a bit down. I’m happy that she’s growing. She has a sweet, sparkly personality and is in all truth the life of the party. She’s bright and intuitive and athletic and loving. I think my sadness is expected here, but is made deeper by the fact that she is the last of my children to finish at this school where we’ve been for five straight years–where I’ve been taken away by ambulance (that’s a funny story), where I’ve gone in with devastating news (just finding out about Ben’s accident in September for example) and needed help immediately, where they’ve prayed through my dad’s heart attack and surgery.

I’m determined to get through today with twice the accomplishments of yesterday! And I will enjoy the little 3, 4, and 5 year olds singing “it’s okay if I like ketchup on my bacon.”

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Buck Creek Civitans

May 7, 2008 at 3:34 am (Uncategorized)

Tonight was the chartering ceremony for the Buck Creek Civitan Club. Lots of important and most of all KIND people were there to help out. I’m looking forward to working with these guys. A funny story is that the president of Civitan International, Mike Brown, was the leader of my religious ed class at a former church. His wife was my sponsor when I converted to Catholicism years ago. So I got to see them tonight which was nice.

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Then Ben turned 35

May 5, 2008 at 1:34 pm (Uncategorized)

Yesterday was my husband’s 35th birthday. To honor himself, he went out to Oak Mountain and rode 35 miles on his bicycle. Then my inlaws, brother-in-law, Ben’s work partner Barton, and my brother-in-law’s friend Lara came to have cake and hang out.
Here’s my crazy bike-riding man as a baby

And as a Yoshukai black belt

And as a crazy 35 year old cyclist-mathematician-account executive

And look, we were nice–we only put one candle on his cake. There were no leftovers.

Here he is with his parents. My father-in-law turned 70 last month! When I ask my mother-in-law how old she is, she mumbles something in Chinese. She’s several years younger than my father-in-law, I know. Do you love how they pose like Asian tourists?

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Overrated Friday

May 2, 2008 at 6:05 am (Uncategorized)

Rules are posted on The Troll Report.

Miss Bossy Pants declares the following things overrated:

**College football coaches
**Chinese buffets
**Big weddings
**New cars
**New houses
**Neighborhoods where they won’t let you even put a garden turtle or birdbath in your front yard. Yes, I’m talking about you, Riverwoods!
**The whole “team sports experience” for kids
**Panama City, Florida
**Any music star under the age of 30. No matter how good a singer may be, it doesn’t matter, if they’re under 30 they’re overrated.
**Young teachers.
**Old teachers.
**European beer (except for my favorite, Stella Artois, but that’s not beer, it’s Stella)
**Working hard to hang on to old friendships
**Phone conversations
**Having your children several years apart to “give them time”

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Thursday Thirteen

May 1, 2008 at 4:17 am (Uncategorized)

Leigh is asking about 13 movies this week.

Here are Miss BossyPants’ Top 13

1. Heavenly Creatures. A true story. Ever hear of the mystery writer Anne Perry? If so, you should watch this film because her real name is Juliet Hulme.
2. Life Is Beautiful. My God I loved this movie so much I went back to the Capri every night the whole week it was showing. I will only watch it in Italian. I tried watching it in English with my parents once and it wasn’t the same, not hearing Roberto Benigni yelling, “principesa!”
3. Coal Miner’s Daughter. I have seen this a thousand times and it never gets old. You ain’t woman enough to take my man!
4. The Ice Storm. Wow, this is a powerful film with Christina Ricci, Tobey Maguire, Elijah Wood, Kevin Kline, Joan Allen, Sigourney Weaver. Ang Lee really captured the loss of innocence and I cry just thinking about Kevin Kline walking through the woods, carrying Christina Ricci home.
5. Heathers. Snarky before snarky was a word. I used to watch this with my dad all the time when I was in middle school. Yes, really.
6. Pi. I love the craziness of this film. It’s loud and confusing and bizarre. Who the hell makes movies about math? My husband is a mathematician in his heart, and he and I and another math nerd went to see it after having too many beers at Jubilee Seafood.
7. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Because sometimes you’re just meant to be with someone, even when you try to get away and forget it all.

8. My Life As a Dog. I cannot tell you how much I love this film. I remember watching it when I was younger and trying not to be embarrassed about the penis getting stuck in the glass soda bottle.
9. Pan’s Labyrinth. This is a more recent film. The layering of the fantasy story on top of the WWII storyline had me captivated. I usually can’t watch fantasty without having nightmares but this movie didn’t cause any bad reactions.
10. Donnie Darko. Okay, Jake Gyllenhaal is what first drove me to this movie. But I can relate to it in a lot of ways. I like the fact that I watch it ten million times and each time I notice something different. I like that I don’t understand what was up with the teachers in the story. I do have bad dreams about this movie but it’s because of the bunny. And I watch anyway.
11. The Little Mermaid. This came out the summer I was 13 and going into eighth grade. We lived on a military base in New Mexico and could go see movies for 99 cents at the base theater. My friends and I went as a joke of sorts, having no idea how much we would absolutely love it. I can sing all the songs, too.
12. Beauty and the Beast. I won’t lie. I love this movie because of a boy. It was Halloween and we were supposed to be watching horror movies with friends, but they backed out, and so the boy I was in love with had me over to watch movies, and we watched this. It was 1992. I kind of gave him the hint of how much I liked him, but he was stupid at the time. Now we are good friends and married to other people. But I still love this movie and its stronger female character and Jessica Lansbury.

13. Closer. In this movie starring Julia Roberts, Clive Owen, Jude Law, and Natalie Portman, the one everyone believes is a liar is actually the only one telling the truth. I love the twist. It’s painful to watch, though. Lust makes people do bad things.

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Accomplishment check

May 1, 2008 at 4:03 am (Uncategorized)

Today was my first full day taking FocalinXR. Indeed I was so focused that for a few minutes I sat staring out the window until I was nearly blind. Then I had to call my neighbor to come check my eyes. My pupils seemd mighty small. Indeed she said they were little pinpoints. No wonder I had such a headache!

Other than those little glitches, which will probably work themselves out, I did do better today. I cooked but didn’t leave the stove on. I didn’t lose track of time at all. I managed to get the daily house stuff–dishes, a little laundry, picking up–done plus some other stuff. The remote for the DVD player in our room had been lost for months and I found it. I updated my planner to include my volunteer time at the Buck Creek Festival. I did some more planning for my husband’s birthday Sunday.

At the end of the day I had enough energy to fix supper for the kids and make sure they all got properly showered (you know, the sniff test). We even got upstairs with enough time for me to do a short reading with all three, and only once did the littlest one get out of bed and try to work me over.

I also downloaded new music from eMusic. I upgraded my subscription so I get 50 songs a month for $14.99. I’ve discovered some good stuff between eMusic and Sirius Left of Center. Today I downloaded two early Pixies albums that I had as a kid but lost, some more Robyn Hitchcock, and the new album by the Weepies. Then tonight I finally got to watch Knocked Up, starring the absolutely precious Seth Rogen and Jason Siegel. I have never watched Grey’s Anatomy so I’m not familiar with Katherine Heigl, but I thought she had really good comic timing.

Now that I’m able to focus better, I need to retrain my brain and my body to do the things that need to get done, not just the stuff I want to do. I really want to spend Thursday back at Amphitheater Park with my dog, playing. But mountains of things that I’ve neglected over the last few months of psychological decay are letting me know they need to get done.

I’m really chatty on this stuff, too. I was a talker before but whoo. Anyone up for coffee?

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