I brung it to the table

April 27, 2008 at 10:43 pm (Uncategorized)

Today in my class, we discussed Anglicanism and what we can learn from Anglican faith traditions. It will not surprise those who know me (or read any of my blogs regularly) to discover that I was confirmed in the Episcopal church. It was not long before I got married, and Bishop Parsley confirmed me and I’m sad to say that my old church in Montgomery split over the same stuff that splits Episocpalians all over (well, the more recent controversy seemed to split them more even than when the 1972 Book of Common Prayer was introduced). Christ the Redeemer no longer exists as it did when I was in my early 20s and studying the book of Timothy with Beth Hargrove and eating Greek salad in the fellowship hall every Wednesday night. Sigh.

Anyway, once our discussion was wrapping up, I volunteered to lead the discussion on Pentecostalism in a couple of weeks. I used that opportunity to say that i would really like to revisit our discussion of Catholicism because I felt like there was so much more we could have learned. So we are going to work it back in at the end of our Adam Hamilton study. I’m glad I brought it up. Certainly helpful today was the fact that the guy who did the original presentation was not in class (he seems to be there about half the time). So I’m excited. Not just about the chance to go back and introduce my classmates to some Catholic beliefs and practices that they might find beneficial in their own lives…

I’m more excited that I swallowed my nervousness and spoke up. The general feeling about me–what I’m told by friends and those who observe me–is that I’m outspoken and extroverted. That’s true. But then I do feel timid when I am saying something that others may not agree with. Not because I want to be agreed with–though that’s nice, I’ll tell ya–but because I ama nxious about what my own reaction will be to their criticism. Will I cry? Crying is my general reaction to anything extreme. I think it’s physical more than emotional. Will I get defensive? I do this sometimes, too, and come off as immature because I scramble for explanation and end up making silly justifications.

We’ll see how it goes. I’ve got a few weeks between now and then. I enjoy the challenge, and also the chance to revisit some of my old spiritual practices that were helpful to me but that I let go of.

My question before was, am I principled enough to bring the truth to the table? And I am, and I’m glad.